After enduring the worst of the drama following my mid-life break-up, I followed the common ritual of most men by spending a lot of time licking my wounds and feeling sorry for myself.
Eventually I instinctively ventured out from my man-cave in search of a woman.
‘Getting back in the saddle’ seemed to be a well worn pathway that was recommended by my family and friends. Google echoing that advice was a clincher for me …
So how does a 40 + aged man fresh from exiting a long term marriage, hook-up with woman? I hadn’t dated for over 20 years!
Online seemed to be the most popular and effective method, so I set up a profile on a popular dating website and entered the murky world of digital dating.
If I am honest, I was probably looking for a stable relationship to alleviate the boredom and vindicate myself from a failed marriage … Oh, and there was the sex aspect too!
In hindsight, looking for a ‘relationship’ soon after a break-up was a mistake!
After my marriage ended, being confronted with the market of available woman was a shock. I guess this was mainly because my only comparison was rose-tinted memories dating in my teens and early twenties.
The prospect of mid-life dating for men has many pitfalls. Those unassuming, slim, feminine woman that you once dated have been ravaged with time. A 40 + male that gazes at a woman similar to his age will often see an unkempt frumpy silhouette that resembles his mother!
Overall the woman that were marketing themselves to 40 + aged men were a sad herd of overweight cat fanciers, well past their use-by-date, with numerous mental issues along with an exceedingly high opinion of themselves.
Another issue that had not occurred to me was that all these woman had at least a pair of SOCKS (Some Other Cunts Kids!), My sympathies were with these hapless kids that were having their world-view filtered through a deranged wildebeest of a mother!
Messaging via dating apps with many of these online woman was a challenge. I will admit my spelling and grammar are not perfect – far from it!! But in comparison most of these woman seemed to hen-peck sentences together using a combination of pidgin English and gangsta-speak. I suppose the benefit for me was that I was able to quickly eliminate available options and concentrate on woman that could loosely string together a few coherent words – OK I may have persisted with those with large tits for longer than I should have?
Soon, my available time was filled with filtering and chatting to numerous woman via an online dating app. A well worn routine developed of being matched with someone via the app and engaging in messaging ping-pong . I was surprised how many woman quickly let down their guard by over-sharing and ramping up the flirtation. What some woman would expose about themselves took my breath away and often gave valuable insight as to why their battle-scared ex-husband was seeking solitude elsewhere.
The tedious back and forth messaging could take several weeks and the ultimate goal was … to meet for coffee! At first, I found the prospect of the day-time coffee meet-up quite stressful. After getting a few meet-ups under my belt I felt more confident as I adopted the attitude of replacing trepidation with amusement.
The coffee meet-ups followed a similar routine. The first reveal was confronting as the woman that turned up always seemed to be 10 years older and at least 10 kgs heavier than their on-line profile pictures. I suspect all these woman selected flattering cropped photos of their family holiday taken many years ago.
I could have been angry at the obvious misrepresentation. But woman have been given a pass-card by society in this regard; they can expose their individuality by dying their hair pink, adorning themselves with tattoos and lead a sedentary life eating own body weight in pies every day. What were once flaws or unattractive have now been re-branded into quirky, interesting extensions of amazing personalities. Men are expected to drink this kool-aid and treat these abominations like princesses; to desire and take care of them – I guess I didn’t get the memo?
So after brief intros and the ordering of coffee, inane chit-chat followed. Phone numbers are exchanged in order to take messaging off-dating app. If all goes to plan, the prospect of a night-time date involving alcohol is discussed.
Against my better judgement, a few of these meet-ups went to the next level. I was enjoying the ego boost while satisfying my sexual urge. I was trying to convince myself that this is what I should settle for, but deep down I knew I wanted something else …